Help For Kids To Survive A Divorce
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Help For Kids To Survive A Divorce

What determines how children respond to divorce? Age and sex are factors, but there is no good age for divorce to be without repercussions

Divorced kids comes in all stages. Some are damaged for life, others can adjust. Others have good relationship with their parents, some have been abandoned. Some are still angry, others have learned to forgive their parents. Some are experiencing incapability in a long term love relationship, others are committed to make their marriage work, so their kids will not suffer what they have gone through.

What determines how children respond to divorce? Age and sex are factors, but there is no good age for divorce to be without repercussions. For some children the greatest impact is felt immediately and it goes on ten to twenty years after the divorce or may even last through lifetime. Even twins respond differently depending on how they can cope with it. Another thing to consider is the relationship between parents, and the child before, during and after the divorce.

kids surviving divorce

kid surviving divorce

Children who have the most difficult time with divorce usually come from families who have never coped well other stressful events. Parents who only escalate the war after the divorce may have remained unmarried. Parents who physically or emotionally remove themselves from a child's life make it more difficult for a child to adapt and accept the divorce.

Children who fared the best after the divorce were those who had a strong emotional support, those who felt loved and who learned to take responsibility for themselves and their reactions. Their emotional health stabilized them and allowed them to express anger, to grieve, and to recover emotionally from the trauma.

Unfortunately, many children do not have a healthy emotional base upon which to begin their healing. It is for these children that divorce often becomes a devastating psychological process destined to leave permanent emotional scars. All children, emotionally healthy or not, will need help in handling their parents divorce.

Parents are the first line assistance, whether they recognized this or not in the midst of their own grief and pain, it is often too easy for parents to deny their children's pain, but denial only added serious problems to the series of problems. Parents must recognize that their children feel great pain, though they may have not demonstrated it openly. A parent must strive to respect the relationship that the children have with their other parent; honor the children's desire for neutrality, and maintain positive relationships with their children as much as possible.

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Comments (1)
ntathu allen

Thanks for touching article. Have three daughters and am coming to end of long painful divorce--so your words soothed my heart and provide me with hope and answers to questions I ask myself. I will bookmark your site. Thank you